But they don’t let that distract the reason they climbed in bed – for a shag.
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After a quick banter about how big the bed is, Jeff informs Kenny that it’s not as big as Golders Green’s bed (The Queen’s discreet orthodox Jew boyfriend) which is reportedly where all his money is kept. Back to the pub! There, Kenny is coerced into blowing Jeff, which comically leads them back to Jeff’s home. As Kenny tries to take it all in – no pun intended! – he and Bryon realise that they’re thirsty and broke, again. And no one knows who killed him! In a comical twist though, Bryon has the cattle prod in question in his possession – he swiped it off the guy he was blowing in the backroom the night before a guy with a “three inch willy”. While Kenny discovers this unknown queer side to his mate, Jeff informs Bryon that the her majesty, the Queen ( Michael Praed), is dead – electrocuted by a cattle prod! Now don’t worry, the Queen is not THE Queen of England, but another male homosexual. Byron denies it, saying “This isn’t real gay sex. It’s not as if it’s anal, or arsehole, or sphincter, or shitter, or bumm banger, or butt fucker, or penetrative type sex.” (I warned you the script is crass!) It’s clear that Kenny is uncomfortable now around his mate, asking him if he’s is gay. Yup! Byron is a hustler performing “legitimate, lucrative work” – or at least that’s what he calls it because it earns him enough money buy his Black Death. With just a fiver left, they pop over to the pup for a pint where Kenny not only realises it’s a “friggin gay pub”, but also discovers Byron’s real job when we’re introduced to Jeff ( Steven Berkoff) for “Jeff week”.
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In this hysterical British romp, Kenny ( Glenn Mulhern) decides to visit his fellow Paddy (an Irishman for those not current with the slang), Byron ( Brendan Mackey) in London expecting to crash with his mate who living the life as “he streets of London are paved with gold!” Instead, he finds Byron passed out and squatting after a night with his favourite booze – Black Death.